All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
