is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
