I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
It's never too late to be topless.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Randomize
