I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
