i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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