idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
We're too hungover to prance.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
