I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Less talking, more tequila
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
