i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
