no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
