didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I FOUND THE LEGS
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
