That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
