mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
ttyl tear gas
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
