Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
