I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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