look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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