i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
