So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
