Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
