ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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