Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
