Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
