i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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