I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i came on her dog
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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