There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Boobs are out for the taking
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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