When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
