cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
