Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
