It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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