Dual....:-)
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
