ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
