I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
No stitches, just platelets and will power
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize