Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
