and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
