Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
