like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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