I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Randomize