Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
