Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize