hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
