i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
