her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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