YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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