How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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