I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Hippo gnu deer
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
