They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
