you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
