i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
