her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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