never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize