she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
