Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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