did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
