my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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