Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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