oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
