my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
