I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize