He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I am midnight drunk by noon
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He did a backflip because drugs
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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