Sponge bath it is.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He felt like a one man threesome
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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