the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
