There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
She announced her abortion via fbk
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
